Being Whitney (Book one of the Being Series): A Young Adult Novel Read online

  “Yeah. I loved it!” she said. She looked up from her closed math book in front of her to find Leif staring back with genuine interest. His eyes sparkled with a soft, cool blue comforting the rapid speed of her heart. “It was also all I knew though,” she continued.

  “Yeah. I get that,” Leif said.

  “Do you like it here?” Whitney asked before realizing how dumb it was. “Sorry, of course you like it here. Millersburg people love Millersburg.”

  “Not necessarily,” he said, surprising her, as usual. He stared out the bayed window across from them. It looked out over the deck and pool. Whitney had freaked out half way through the first study session when she realized the irony in Leif studying there with a view of her pool, but he’d never mentioned it. After a minute he continued. “I’m not saying I don’t like it. I do. Some of it. I like the landscape and stuff. It’s just… hard to breathe in a small town sometimes.”

  “Hard to breathe?” Whitney asked after a second. His lack of cheerleading for his hometown caught her off guard.

  “Yeah. The history and people and closeness, it all just becomes suffocating at times. It’s hard to figure out who you are when other people are always telling you what to be.”

  “That’s not just small towns,” Whitney said. “My dad decided who I was a long time ago, and it is apparently not open for discussion.”

  Leif looked at her with a gentle grin saying more than words could. “What would you say if it was open for discussion?” he asked.

  Whitney searched for an answer. She’d never allowed herself to imagine a world where she wasn’t destined to be basketball phenom. “I’m not sure,” she said.

  At the same time Leif received a text and immediately his eyes turned back to their conventional drained blue-grey. He let out a tired sigh as he zipped up his bag.

  “I gotta get going,” he said.

  “Okay,” Whitney said, although it wasn’t.

  “Sorry,” he said shaking his head, “it’s just….stuff. I have to deal with some stuff.”

  “Yeah, no problem. We’re done anyways,” Whitney said. She stood up and followed him to the door.

  “Thanks for stopping by,” she said as he opened the door, immediately clenching her teeth in embarrassment.

  “Anytime,” Leif said. And with a grin, he was gone.

  She shut the door with her whole body and let her head drop against it in a thud.

  Why did you leave me alone with him? She text Everley.

  What happened? Everley asked.

  I said, Thanks for stopping by, when he left. Who says that?

  Old ladies after afternoon tea?

  You’re not helping! Whitney retreated to her room and threw herself in her bright pink oversized chair.

  So he stayed? Until now? Everley text. Whitney checked the time. 9:15!

  Yeah. I didn’t realize how late it was. We did our review and then talked.

  What did you talk about??

  He asked about California and if I liked it and then we talked about Millersburg a bit. Texting it made Whitney realize how weird it was. They’d had a real conversation. Whitney wondered what that meant.

  That’s cool. Everley said. Whitney knew she meant it, Everley was honestly that good willed, but she also wondered what everyone else would think.

  ◆◆◆

  “Whitney!” Brynley whispered aggressively gesturing her into first period.

  “What?” Whitney asked. She’d woken up in a great mood and even taken the time to get ready and put on a dress and boots.

  “You look really cute,” Brynley said with unrestrained shock.

  “Thanks…I think.”

  “K,” Brynley said scanning the room quickly before leaning in. “Ivy will kill me if she knew I told you this.”

  Whitney sat down thinking she was ready for Brynley’s latest piece of gossip.

  “Did Leaf go to study session at your house last night?”

  “Yeah, why?” Whitney said.

  Brynley’s whole face lit up.

  “So Eva was at Ivy’s and asked where Leif was and Jasmine said study session, but then she remembered Phillip told her he wasn’t going to the session. So then Eva became all weird about Leif and I guess she thought he lied and went somewhere else. Then they asked Ivy if Everley and you were doing the study session and she said yeah, but then she remembered Everley told her she had Soul’s program thing so she told them that and I guess Eva freaked out. She thought Leif was lying about where he went so they drove out to your house and like down your driveway and saw his car there so then she started freaking out about why he would go if it was just you and started texting him freaking out on him!”

  She barely spewed the last bit out before Ivy walked in. The girls separated and busied themselves with their bags while Ivy took her seat. Whitney replayed the story in her head. Did Eva honestly see her as a treat? Was this truly an issue?

  Apparently it was because Ivy ignored Whitney all day. At lunch Whitney asked her a direct question and Ivy didn’t even respond.

  By math Whitney slid in next to Everley defeated. “I don’t get why Ivy’s being so mean to me.”

  “Brynley said she told you.”

  “About Eva freaking out about the study session?”

  “Yeah!” Everley said.

  “She did. But why is Ivy mad at me over that?”

  “She kinda believes anything Jasmine says. So she thinks something is secretly going on with you and Leif and that you’re lying to us all.”

  Whitney stared at Everley with her eyebrows furrowed together. “What?”

  “Well Jasmine and Eva think you guys did stuff last night and they told Ivy that so she kinda thinks so too.”

  “Did you tell her that was crazy?”

  “What’s crazy?” Leif asked. Whitney and Everley stared at each other while the boys took their seats.

  Phillip leaned in close to Whitney, “Ohhh….girl secrets? Those are the best. Spill it!”

  “On second thought, I’ve had enough girl drama in the last 24 hours. You can keep any secrets to yourself,” Leif said.

  Whitney looked his way, wishing they were in a place where she could say something to make it better. Looking at the perfect specimen he was she remembered what Everley told her. How was it possible that people believed something was going on with her and Leif? The idea took him out of the unobtainable category, which she knew was dangerous, but if she was honest with herself, he’d edged out of that category the night before anyways.

  ◆◆◆

  The following Monday Leif announced he couldn’t come to that week’s study session, but on Tuesday Mrs. White added a midterm to Thursday, so he changed his mind, but when he arrived at Whitney’s house on Wednesday night, 15 minutes late, his face clearly said some people didn’t support his change of heart.

  “Did the wife disapprove of you coming?” Phillip asked.

  “She’s so fucking annoying.” Leif said. He threw his books on the table. “Sorry girls,” he mumbled.

  “It’s cool,” Whitney said. “We’ve heard that word before. We aren’t 12.”

  Leif smiled her way and her heart caught in her throat.

  Their session ran longer than normal as they tried to cram in everything from the term. Phillip left around 8:45 though, saying he was good, although everyone knew he needed the most help. Everley’s mom picked her up at nine and once again Whitney found herself alone with Leif. She figured he’d leave when Everley did, but he remained fixed at the dining room table twenty minutes after Everley’s departure.

  “Sorry I got you in trouble last week,” Whitney said, the silence squeezing it out of her.

  “You didn’t get me in trouble,” Leif said. Whitney looked up from her paper to find him staring at her.

  “Oh. Okay.” Whitney regretted even opening her mouth.

  “I’m not mad,” he said. “I just get tired of everyone thinking Eva runs my life.”

  Whitney searched
the awkwardness for something to say. She kind of wished he’d leave. She didn’t want people assuming things and Ivy to hate her more.

  “The Eva thing is complicated,” he said unsolicited. “There’s pressure and expectations and I’m not allowed to do anything without her. It’s….”

  “Suffocating?”

  “Yeah.” He looked her way and smiled, genuinely.

  “Why are you with her then?” Whitney asked.

  Leif stared into the navy darkness behind her house, letting the question hang.

  “Sorry, that’s none of my business. That was rude, I’m sorry,” Whitney said.

  He giggled at her insecurity, only increasing it.

  “It’s fine,” he said. “I just actually had to think about it.”

  Whitney breathed in his smile until it sent butterflies through her stomach.

  “So, you play basketball?” Whitney asked searching for a neutral topic.

  “Yeah,” Leif said. “You too? I saw the court outside.”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty much all I do,” Whitney said. “My dad demanded I have a court at home to play on so he had it put in before we moved.”

  “Does he live here?” Leif asked.

  “Oh, no. My parents are divorced. He lives in California. But he’s pretty psycho about my basketball,” Whitney said.

  Leif smiled. “In what way?”

  Whitney thought for a second on how much of the torrid truth she should tell. “He’s just really serious about it. He’s actually freaking out because I’m not on a club team right now. I played year-round at home.”

  “Like seriously all year?” Leif asked.

  “Yeah. For the last two years at least. I took off like two weeks in the summer and one for Christmas, oh and one for spring break, but that was it. Otherwise I played at least five days a week all year. The six weeks since I moved here is the most time I’ve taken off since I was like 12.”

  “That’s crazy,” he said. “I play something nearly year-round but I think I’d go crazy if it was all the same sport.” He looked impressed, which Whitney liked.

  Whitney shrugged. “It’s just what I’ve always done. I didn’t question it until I came here. Most kids where I grew up played just one sport by the time they are in 7th grade. I thought it was normal.”

  “Oh, you are defiantly not normal,” he said. His dimple sent more butterflies tumbling through her.

  Then he squashed them. “I should probably get going.”

  “Yeah, we kind of gave up on the math a while ago.” Whitney followed Leif to the door, willing herself not to say something super lame again

  “Thanks for letting me stop in again,” Leif said. A huge smile stretching across his perfect face. Whitney’s face turned bright red, which only made his smile grow. She shook her head while he walked to his car. As he pulled out his keys he paused and turned around.

  “Do you want a ride in the morning?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “For our morning review. I could pick you up. It’s basically on my way and I know you usually ride the bus. Save your mom a trip.”

  “Sure,” Whitney said without thinking.

  “Cool. See ya a few minutes before 7,” he said. And then he was gone.

  Whitney processed the exchange while he pulled out and then, in a panic, reached for her phone to text Everley.

  Leif just left.

  What? He’s been there this whole time? Everley said.

  Yeah. And he asked me if I wanted a ride tomorrow morning for our review at school. Whitney shook her head as she typed, struggling to understand it.

  Why? Everley asked.

  To save my mom a trip…

  Don’t tell Ivy. Everley typed.

  And you know he’s still pretty much with Eva right? She text next.

  Yeah! I didn’t say anything. He just stayed and talked and then asked about the ride right before he left.

  Whitney felt the accusation through the phone and knew it would be ten times worse from Brynley and Ivy.

  You shouldn’t fall for him. He’s not an option. Everley said.

  I know that. I’m not!

  Yet she knew falling was exactly what she was doing.

  ◆◆◆

  Leif pulled in at 6:50 exactly and Whitney rushed to meet him before her mom could berate her with any more questions. She’d been ready 15 minutes early, and that was after changing her clothes three times in an effort to look presentable without trying. She still wasn’t sure she’d pulled it off, she tried not to wear too many name brands to school, since no one in Millersburg owned any piece of clothing over $50, but her skinny Sevens went perfectly, so she’d done it. Now, crawling into Leif’s car, she was starting to rethink the decision.

  “You ready for this?” Leif asked.

  “Definitely not,” Whitney said.

  Leif pulled onto the fog covered country road. “Your mom was cool with you getting a ride to school with a random older dude?” he asked.

  “Yeah. She was actually excited. She puts a lot of value in our ability to find suitable boyfriends.” The words spewed from Whitney’s mouth uncontrollably. Leif glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

  “Not that you are my boyfriend,” Whitney said. “I didn’t mean that. You’re dating Eva and just giving me a ride and wow, I did not mean that.”

  Leif giggled at Whitney’s rambling.

  “How does she know I’m suitable?” Leif asked after a few minutes.

  “I don’t know,” Whitney said. “I guess just from what she’s seen when you came over for study sessions.”

  “So she liked what she saw, huh?” Leif said. Then he paused, waiting for Whitney to shrink in more embarrassment, as he knew she would.

  “Are you enjoying this?” Whitney asked.

  “More than you know.”

  Whitney shook her head. “Well I’m glad someone is.”

  Chapter 5

  On the third Wednesday in October Whitney sat in homeroom chatting with Jesse while her horrendous homeroom teacher, Mr. Knight, rambled on. The upcoming week was homecoming and the school was abuzz with preparations. There were to be dress-up days, games, a bonfire on the baseball field, floats, princesses, a parade, a dance and of course, the football game. This was all very foreign to Whitney and she leaned in close to Jesse so he could explain it in English, instead of the beyond confusing info Mr. Knight was giving. As if on cue, as Jesse reached the part about voting for homecoming court, in marched none other than MHS Associated Student Body president Jasmine Smyth with ballets. She explained to the class how to vote as her trusty assistant Eva handed out the slips of paper.

  “Umm, Jasmine.” Jesse raised his ballet into the air. “You guys left Whitney off.”

  Whitney looked at him willing his words back into his mouth. Jasmine glanced first at the paper in her hands, and then at Eva who stood beside her.

  “Its fine!” Whitney said, “I don’t care. I’m new. I wouldn’t win. It’s not a big deal at all.”

  “Oh yes it is,” Eva said. Eva’s attitude towards Whitney had gone from ‘irritating, un-interesting freshman’ to ‘bitch sleeping with my boyfriend’ in the last few weeks and Whitney’s appeal had only given her ammunition. “We have already handed out the ballets to most of the freshman but we will talk to Mr. Gillis and see what we can do. We don’t want anyone to not have a fair chance, especially a new girl.” She finished, flashing a smile that was more evil than pretty.

  Whitney smiled back, circled Ivy, Everley, Brynley and two other girls at random and then passed her paper forward. As the girls left she turned and scowled directly at Jesse.

  “What? You shouldn’t be left off. I wanted to vote for you. I’m sure a lot of people did,” Jesse said.

  “Eva hates me! I’ve been trying to avoid her and now you have to throw me in her face,” Whitney said. “No one was going to vote for me. Brynley is going to win. Everyone knows that.”

  “I was trying to be nice.” Je
sse grabbed his things, as the bell rang, and left Whitney brewing in her desk.

  Whitney knew it wasn’t Jesse’s fault and now felt bad for taking it out on him. She didn’t want Jesse mad at her, but she also refused to give Eva more ammo against her, nor did she desire to be homecoming princess.

  “I would have voted for you,” nerdy Katelyn King said passing Whitney pulling her rolling backpack behind her.

  Whitney forced a smile. “Thanks.”

  ◆◆◆

  Whitney entered drama cautiously; collapsing next to Everley when she determined the coast was clear.

  “You weren’t on the ballet. Did you see that?” Everley said.

  “Yeah I know. I don’t really care, but Jesse made sure to point it out to Eva and Jasmine who were quick to fain extreme concern.”

  “Oh….” Said Everley. Her face said she understood the gravity of the situation.

  “Yeah. They hate me. I’m sure they’ll be here any minute with more to say about it.” Whitney said.

  “I don’t think they HATE you,” Everley said. Whitney looked at her with raised eyebrows.

  As if on cue, Eva swept down the theater ramp, stopping in front of the girls. “Oh, Whitney! she said, “So glad we saw you!”

  “Mr. Gillis wasn’t concerned, but we told him how upset you’d been so he’s going to make an exception and put six names on the final freshman ballet so people can vote for you,” Jasmine said. Her fake smile matched her fake tone perfectly.

  “If they want to.” Eva made sure to add.

  “Great,” Whitney said.

  Jasmine and Eva turned in one fluid movement and sauntered to the other side of the theater. Whitney fought back the urge to go strangle them.

  “Well that’s cool. Now we’re all on the final ballet,” Everley said. Whitney forced a grin fighting back the urge to now strangle Everley.

  The next day in first period Mr. George handed out half sheets of paper with six names on them as Jasmine and Eva promised.

  Whitney quickly circled Brynley’s name and turned in her ballet. Why did they have to put her on the ballet at all? She didn’t care. She wouldn’t win, nor did she want to win.